7 Evil Things Minnesotans Do When Grocery Shopping

When was the last time you went to the grocery store and didn't experience a moment of microaggression? People won't stop people-ing, and that's everyone's problem.

But how many of these evils are you guilty of? I plead the fifth (but never #4).

7 Deadly Sins of Grocery Shopping

Sin #1: Ignoring the Rules of Aisle Traffic

It's simple: the rules of road traffic are the rules of aisle traffic. Don't unnecessarily block people, don't stop suddenly, and dangit, Greg, keep to the right. If you spot someone you haven't seen in OMG 4ever, then find a spot out of the way (read: not in the middle of the aisle) to catch up. And while you're there...

Sin #2: Be Spatially Unaware

If hyper-vigilant vigilantes have taught me anything, it's that being aware of your surroundings is key to surviving...stuff. Be aware if you're holding up traffic (see #s 1 & 6) or if your kids are wreaking havoc. Also, if they reek.

Sin #3: 'Returning' Something You Don't Want Anymore

Ever find a loaf of bread next to the acne medication? Decisions were made, including the terrible jerkface decision of not being bothered to return the bread to whence it came...like the bread aisle.

Sin #4: Yoinking Items Straight Out of Someone's Cart

You really wouldn't think that this is necessary to mention, but we're not in the Super Smart Timeline. If someone leaves the vicinity of their cart (even though this clearly violates #1 and #2) that doesn't give you carte blanche to raid their cart.

Sin #5: Bringing a Loaded Cart to the Express Checkout

You've managed to run in, get that one thing you need for your world-famous mac & cheese (it's the cheese), and as you approach the express checkout (because the other checkouts are overwhelmed) some hunyuck with a stacked cart gets in line ahead of you. The cashier does not get paid enough to care, so now you're stuck behind jerkface with the loaded cart.

And while we're in the checkout lane...

Sin #6: Holding Up the Checkout Lane

Get off your cellphone (that you have on speaker for some reason WHY ARE PEOPLE LIKE THIS?), pay attention, have your card ready to go, and gooooooo.

Sin #7: Not Returning Your Cart

There are two easy tells about someone's character & morality: how they treat service employees and whether or not they return their cart. Leaving it to roll around the parking lot is not giving some kid "job security". You're being a lazy jerkface, Greg.

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H/T: Huff Post