How was your day honey? Fine. How was your drive home? Fine. These short one word answers are frustrating; especially if you’re having relationship problems. Here are a few reasons men don’t want to talk about their feelings.

Men are raised to be strong and brave, so talking about their feelings can make maybe make them feel weird. They aren’t supposed to have feelings. They’re men and sometimes men feel insecure when they’re talking about their feelings because their jerk wad friends tease him about it. I’m going to sound like Mr. Rogers here, but, if you’re going to have a “let’s talk about our feelings” discussion with your man, reassure him that talking about feelings is OK and that his feelings are valid.

Maybe it was a bad relationship or two in the past that burned him and he has issues with trust. How does he know you aren’t going to put it on Facebook or tell all your friends about it? Maybe it was the way he was raised. Who knows? Whatever it is, show him in your actions that he can rely on you and that you’re trustworthy. Say what you mean, do what you say you’re going to do and most of all, be honest.

Sometimes, guys don’t want to tell us the truth or talk about their feelings because they’re afraid they’re going to hurt you. You can’t control what he’s going to say, but you can show him that you’re a big girl and can handle what he’s going to say. Don’t lose your cool, listen to what he has to say and let him finish.

You ask the wrong questions. Don’t ask him out of the blue “What are you thinking about?” Because he may be thinking about monster trucks, Kate Upton or the physics problem they were talking about on the rerun of Big Bang Theory, which will make him stutter and stammer. If you want to know what he’s thinking about, ask the exact question you want to know the answer to. “What do you think about accompanying me to the company’s spring gala?” “What do you think about going shopping for curtains Wednesday night?” “What do you think about moving in together?” Things like that. Just be prepared for what he says. If he says he doesn’t want to go with you, you don’t need curtains or moving in together is a bad idea, they likely aren’t the answers you want, but it may be the answer you’re going to get, so brace yourself.