There's a lot more to moving in together than some people think. Sometimes, it can be the best arrangement for both parties. Others may feel like they are losing control of their privacy and individual finances, which can create tension in the relationship that didn't exist before. Here are some things you will need to consider when thinking about the big move.


Look at all that stuff!  You've got every DVD collection under the sun...He's got 800 collectible T shirts from the past 20 years. With both of you having so much stuff, it's wise to think about what's most important to keep. Taking a step with someone new, means getting rid of some of the past, so you can make room for the future.  If one person is going to have most of the space for all of their things, not leaving room for the other, there could be conflict. The other person will feel crowded and possibly resentful in the long run.


Moving in with someone without first having the dreaded "Money Talk" is never a good idea. One person may think that by the other moving in, they can count on that persons salary to pay for their bills. Maybe the other person is already maxed on their own payments? Both parties need to know the financial situation of the other, but that's not enough. Try to sit down together, looking at all of the bills that will be involved combined together, and see if there's a way to make it work.  If not, it could destroy a great relationship. Being together doesn't mean you have to live together.


After some serious discussion about the above mentioned topics, if you've decided that the move is something you both want, use this checklist to get a realistic idea of moving.

  1. How will this move affect you both financially? 
  2. How do children feel about the other person, their children, and moving into a new place with other people?
  3. Take inventory of both households.
  4. Decide what you will keep, toss, sell or donate.
  5. Decide how much square footage you will need.
  6. Take measurements of your things and make sure everything fits.
  7. Be considerate.
Realize that once the move is completed, it could take some time to settle in.Be extra sensitive to one another's feelings during the first few weeks or months. Give yourselves some time to get used to the new arrangements. Remember, if after looking at all of your options, you don't HAVE to move in together. You can still be happy and live in separate spaces.