What Not to Say to a Couple Getting Married
I know four couples getting married in the next year and when I hear people giving them advice or just mindlessly saying things about their own married life, I just cringe, so here are some things not to say to someone getting married.
I heard some of these these things and I've heard people saying these things to my sister or best friend and it makes me sad, so I am here to tell you please, whatever you tell someone after you hear they're getting married, please let it be, "Congratulations! When's the big day?" and not the following:
If You Live Together, It Won't Be That Different
A.) Not everyone lives together before they're married, and B.) Yes, it will. Glen and I bought our house about five months before we got married, and it was nice to have him there every day, all the time. After we got married, it was like the relationship was new again. Those new feelings and firsts all came back and it was wonderful. Even though we've been married almost two years now, it still feels different than it did when we just lived together. I think because it's legal and neither one can just get up and walk away at any time, we work a little harder at our relationship. Some days we work really hard, but it feels way different than it did when we were just dating.
You Won't Have to Worry About Money
Ok, so you have more money than you did when you were single, but you still have to worry about it. Maybe not as much as before, but now there are two names on the account, and two people spending the money, two opinions on how much you should spend on what, plus you have to communicate how much you spent so whomever the bookkeeper in the relationship is, knows how much is in the account when they write out the bills. You may have to worry about it even more now that you're married so you're not fighting about it all the time.
This isn't entirely true. People do change, but often times not in the way you want them to. People rarely change the way they feel about certain things. Take kids, for example. Whether or not to have kids is a huge decision and the two of you absolutely need to be on the same page about. If you want them and the other one doesn't and you know this before you get married, one of you better change your mind, or part ways. If you agree to have kids even though you don't really want them, it's going to make you resent your spouse and resent the kids and it's not fair to either one. I know two couples this has happened to. One got divorced over it, and the other is in a very unhappy relationship with a toddler in tow.
You'll Miss Being Single
This is entirely false. At least, for me it is. I was the last person in the world who wanted to get married. Under "Never Getting Married" in the dictionary was a picture of me. I loved being single and dating around because I thought it was fun, but it wasn't. The politics of dating and the games; I wouldn't wish these things on anybody. Being married is wonderful -- if you're married to the right person. Knowing you get to wake up next to your best friend for the rest of your life is one of the best feelings there is. I still get butterflies.