How often have I said to my children, "Oh My Gosh...I'm too old for this crap."   Like a milllion times in the past month. I'm trying to figure out when exactly I started using that phrase, and why I think that getting older has anything to do with being too old to do something.  Is it just a longing to NOT have to do stupid things that seemed exciting and funny when I was a kid?  What are you TOO OLD for anyway? Here's my list:

Kelly Cordes
  • I'm too old to stay up all night. Are you kidding? I've never been good at it, but I'm even worse now. Staying up all night would cause me to miss three days of work, and get ill.
Kelly Cordes
  • I'm too old to sleep on the floor. Or anything else besides a nice comfortable bed at this point.  I don't know when it happened, but I'm pretty sure I'm so old I can't recall ever LIKING it, after the age of 10.
  • I'm too old to not have anything saved up for retirement.  That's right. I'm too old right now to ever have enough money to sustain retirement. I'd have to win the lottery to sustain myself into my 80's and 90's. That's why I'll be the 90 year old DJ. I think this hit me when I turned 45.  Did I say 45? That's right. I'm still 28.
  • Keeping up with the Kardashians...I've always been too old for that. Or any other reality series....Seriously....I can't handle the stress of everyone else's lives multiplied by my own.  When did it happen? I think after 40. Give me my garden, my dog and my cat...I'm good.
  • I'm too old to argue with teenagers. My kids have to ask why- I say- It just doesn't matter. I just said so. So just do it. I'm too old to fight with you. When did that happen?  I don't think it happened with Drew.  Poor Tanner and Mason. I think it happened last year.
  • I'm too old to eat that crap.  Dang!  This one sucks. I used to be able to eat anything and everything I wanted. Weight wasn't a problem. Now I can look at a donut or a piece of pizza and my body makes room to store it.
  • I'm too out to put up with crap...period. I'm just too old. If you can't say something nice, then don't say anything at all. If you can't enjoy today just for today, then don't talk to me about it or bring me down. We're all blessed to just have an existence. So pretend your body is an Avatar....Get out there and start living!