First Date Red Flags
Last week, we had some first date advice from guys. Today, here are some first date red flags.
First dates can be intimidating, but they can also be a fun way to get to know someone. Here are a few things to watch out for.
They Complain A Lot
While you and your date are chit chatting and they can’t seem to stop talking about things they hate and that everything is the worst, they’re likely Captain Cranky Pants and that’s probably someone you don’t want to be hanging with. If you’re on the date and they’re on a constant rant, try and steer the conversation in another direction. If that doesn’t work, try and cut the date short if you can. This happened to me once. He wouldn’t stop talking about politics and that’s just not something I felt comfortable discussing on a first date, so I kept trying and trying to talk about other things, but it wasn’t working. I was out of there before the food even came.
He's a "One-Upper"
When you’re telling a story, notice if your date tries to top you or one up you on everything. You know a guy? He knows two. Your swimsuit top fell off while you were trying to surf? Well, he fell off his surf board, lost his shorts, cracked his head open on a coral reef and got bit by a shark. You know the type. It’s a sign that they’re competitive, but while being competitive at work or being competitive on the church league softball team is OK, being always competitive is not. It also means that they’re insecure and will always fight you for the upper hand. This happened to me with a job once. My boss always knew someone (or was someone) who had it worse than anyone else.
They Talk About Their Ex More Than Once
Everyone has an ex, but does your date mention their ex more than once? Once, OK, but more than once likely means that they aren’t over them yet. It doesn’t always mean that you shouldn’t date them, but just keep it in mind. I dated a guy that traveled for business quite often. We lived in the same apartment complex and it was convenient for me to just take his keys and go feed his cat. I should have listened better because suddenly one day, he told me that while he was in Denver, his ex was going to feed his cat. After he got back from Denver, he informed me that he was getting back together with his ex. Awkward.
They Can't Stop Playing With Their Phone
How much attention do they pay to their phone? Is it on the table or tucked away in their pocket or bag? Do they check it more than twice during dinner? Now, I’m not just talking about while you’re in the restroom. I’m talking about middle-of-the-story checking of the phone. You’re telling them about yourself and your hobbies and they pick their phone up off the table and starts messing with it. It didn’t vibrate or make a dingaling noise. They just check out from what you’re saying and start playing with his phone. It could be because they feel awkward or nervous, or they just aren’t that interested in what you’re saying. Either way, it could mean that they just aren’t that into what you’re saying. If you’re very irritated by it, maybe just have a couple of drinks and call it a night. Don’t waste your time. When I was in the dating world, I always made sure that the phone was on vibrate and safely tucked into my bag. One time I remember I forgot to put it on vibrate and it started ringing. I silenced the phone quickly, apologized and moved the conversation along. Thankfully it worked, but if they’re all out ignoring you and paying too much attention to the phone, it’s best to just leave it at one (short) date.
They Drink Too Much
This next one may mean they’re nervous, but it could also be a signal that they have a problem, but if they drink too much, it’s not good. Most people are fine with keeping their drinking to a minimum on a first date, but if they drink to excess it could spell trouble down the road. Especially if you notice they’re doing it on purpose. I accidentally got drunk on a first date once and it was really, really embarassing. I didn’t do anything crazy, like yell or smash crockery, but I was horrified that it even happened. He was nice about it and understanding. He even tried asking me out on a second date, but I was so completely mortified, I turned him down.